6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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