I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I touched a dick in church today
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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