I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize