OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize