cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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