I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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