just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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