Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize