She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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