Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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