i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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