i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize