For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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