i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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