Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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