what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize