Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize