How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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