fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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