Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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