The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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