I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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