I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize