i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
where am i from again
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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