the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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