I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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