I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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