Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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