The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
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Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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