Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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