He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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