Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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