After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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