I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize