i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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