i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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