Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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