omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
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Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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