you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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