I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
