don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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