Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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