I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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