btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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