My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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