hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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