So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i now understand why vodka
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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