I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize