Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize