i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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