The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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